Tom’s Personal Philosophy guides his coaching and Sacred Odyssey programs. It is a living document. Please join us in conversation about this–we love to grow in our thinking!
There is value and validity in many forms of personal development and transformation work: coaching, therapy, workshops, books, meditation and many more. I do not believe there is a one-size-fits-all approach and encourage you to explore and find your own truth and your own path. I seek coaching relationships with individual where we are a great match for one another.
All theories of psychology and personal development are rooted in philosophy. Those theories that resonate with me share in the belief of the inherent goodness of all humans—we are loving by nature and seek communion with others and our environment. We are whole and complete beings who learn to adapt perfectly to our environments.
Joseph Campbell suggests that life has no purpose other than that which we choose to give it. I choose to believe that we are here to experience the depth and breadth of what it is to be human as we seek to live as our highest good, our Divine nature. I want to taste the richness of life and to know the breadth and depth of what it is to be human. Developing a broad emotional landscape, fully embracing all aspects of our being and striving to live as our highest good is, in my way of thinking, the highest of spiritual pursuits—the highest form of prayer. Julio Olalo suggests that one cannot experience the emotion of joy without having gratitude. I desire that all of my clients experience the joy of being alive, the beauty of embracing all of their emotions, the richness of languaging a new future and adopt a daily expression of gratitude, “It’s great to be me!”
The spiritual paradigm from which I approach life holds as it’s foundation the perspective that we both create our personal reality and co-create our collective realities. As the creator of my unique reality I have the power to choose and/or transform how I relate to life experiences (which is not to say that I am personally responsible for manifesting all events or phenomenon). I have the power to change my habits of emotion, habits of language and habits of body. Absolute Individual Responsibility (A.I.R.) is the frame of reference from which I examine all manners of relating to myself, others and the world. I believe in free will and that we have the divine ability to create. Karma, in this way of thinking, can best be understood as consequences of our choices, both individual and collective.
We each have personal theories of psychology which serve us until those theories break down under life’s vicissitudes. We are perfect beings who learn to adapt, cope and survive within the context of our families and immediate cultures. It seems clear there are developmental traumas, Big “T” traumas as they’re described in therapeutic realms, such as incest or rape that, in many cases, radically alter development due to their extreme nature. However, I’m not convinced that it serves us toward fully claiming our power to consider smaller life events as being traumatic. In my way of thinking, such language SUPPORTS* a victim paradigm.
*I emphasize the word ‘supports’ because this is often read to mean that using words such as wounded, trauma and healing causes a victim mentality, or use of the words comes from a victim space, which is not at all what I’m suggesting. And I do not hold psychology in disregard because of these terms. I highly value counseling and therapy, though I have some strong preferences about which I assess to be most effective.
The terms ‘trauma,’ ‘healing’ and ‘wounded’ are carry-overs from psychology (most theories of which are rooted in the medical/pathology model) which sees us as having aspects of ourselves that are broken and need to be fixed. Similarly, the notion of a ‘core self’ is rooted in the idea that we’ve been victimized and need to find our way back to something, that we’ve been emotionally damaged in some way. For those who posture themselves as victims this language supports the their perception that life circumstances and events happen to them—they see themselves as passive receivers, rather than as actors who make choices and adopt emotions and behaviors in response to life’s circumstances.
My approach to coaching and the programs I develop is to examine how your habits of thought, habits of body and habits of mood and emotion served you within the context of your environment. Therefore, I define my processes as personal development or transformation work. With this as a reference point you may then relate to past experiences and your behaviors without shame or fear and powerfully choose who you will create yourself as to generate your desired future—a future filled with joy and richness.
I have experienced profound Shamanic journeys, mind blowing mystical experiences and miracles. Yet I find that being grounded in my being—having a rich emotional landscape and a clear sense of purpose—serves me powerfully and profoundly in making life choices. While fascinating and fun, I do not give my power to another’s authority, to clairvoyants, angel readings or any other approach that puts the power of creating my future outside of myself; while such resources may inform me, they do not define me. Only I define who I am. Only I choose the future I will create for myself.
In a culture of fear and shame this perspective of creating /co-creating our reality and A.I.R., is not for the faint of heart. Most seek refuge in paradigms which put the power and control of their lives outside of themselves. Yet, if you feel that sense of longing for something more profound, if you’ve been searching for a sense of meaning and fulfillment, if you’ve ever asked yourself “Is this all there is?” or have been seeking but have not found your path, perhaps you’ve manifested this experience right here, right now, for a reason.
